Kickin myself in the back side!

Well, my heart is always in the right place and you would think with the amount of time I spend on the computer that I could find 10 minutes everyday writing on my blog. Time for a big fat kick in the hind end for this momma!

Status so far is 8 pounds off, excercise regimen starting to come together, and while looking for work I am also looking for ways to make money from home. You never know what kind of gold mine may turn up. It could be a combination of things too. Selling stuff on Ebay, doing online surveys, etc. Who knows. I did find out that if I were to sell all of the china that I own at the same retail prices that Replacements.com sells for, I would be able to make $1800 from 4 small boxes. So, I am looking into selling all of my stuff at one of the antique stores in Snohomish. A friend of mine did that and ended up with over $2000.00 in her pocket. A nice tidy sum if I may say so. I have another friend who's sister does yard sales, estate sales, and thrift stores and sells stuff on Ebay at a pretty great profit and makes quite a bit of money. You just have to learn what to look for and what those items are potentially worth.

I certainly wouldn't turn down a great job if it is offered to me but I would sure like to work from home and set my own hours. That would be the icing on the cake and kind of a reward for the number of years that I have been working outside the home. Which is about 36 years. Been there done that.

So, we'll see how things go. Maybe I can make money as a writer. Here is an excerpt from the prologue of my sci-fi book.

"Ben closed the door to the cabin quietly. He did not want to wake Dani just yet. Looking out over the crystal clear water, he saw their destination. It was a large lodge style cabin on the other side of the lake. Smoke was drifting out from the chimney so he knew their host would already be up, preparing for their visit. He walked to the shore to see if the canoe that was promised would be there waiting. It was tied up to a small dock. Upon reaching the end of the dock and inspecting the canoe for the appropriate gear and supplies, he spied a note attached to one of the oars."

That's all you get to see for now.

Many Roads to Explore

When I move into a neighborhood I usually go exploring to see where this road or that road leads to. Sometimes it's a really cool thing, kind of a serendipitous experience. Other times it's just a road and there is nothing special to find. Since I have lived out here in the sticks, I have not done much exploring on the side streets. And now that I am not working, I'm thinking that may have to wait a bit longer since I need to conserve gas.

However, it doesn't take any fossil fuel to start exploring the internal roads that I wrote about earlier. I'm doing okay so far on the diet road. I've lost 3 pounds so far and I'm writing down everything I eat. And I have to be honest with what I write so if I don't want to include it on the calorie list then I just don't eat. (Goodbye cranberry/orange scones from Starbucks and goodbye donuts with my latte in the morning) Tonight I started back down the excercise road and I will tell you that I'm sure there is an end to it somewhere and that end is me getting into awesome shape, but in the meantime it's a bumpy road. I have not worked out in awhile and this one kicked my butt. I did the step aerobics, boxing, then step aerobics followed by some stretching.

I was sweating! Wow, did it feel good. Now I just have to keep that momentum up. I can picture it, I want it, I just have to draw strength from within. Man, easier said than done sometimes. Motivation is a really tough thing to muster up when there are so many other situations fighting for your emotional attention. No one said the internal road to success was going to be easy.
Here we go!

Vacation is over, time to get to work

Seems to me I read somewhere, or maybe I made it up that the road to self discovery begins on the less traveled road within. So, I think since I will be home, again, I will spend some time on those roads. I also need to get back to looking for a job, working on the house, and taking on some long put aside projects. Looks like a pretty tall order but I'm up for it. Onward.

The psychology of being employed or unemployed

There are people out there who have no life to speak of. They live to work. They put in long hours and associate their work with their self worth. I was once somewhat guilty of that. For many years at several of my jobs I put in more hours than were expected and more effort than was expected only to find myself worn out and not rewarded for my efforts. Companies then at some point begin to expect that level of output from you and it just spirals out of control from there. Well, it does if you have another life besides work, and if you let it. How then do you balance putting in an honest days work where your conscience and their expectations can come to terms? It is a difficult juggling act. I have always said to people that none of my jobs have ever really been just jobs. That I have always dumped my heart and soul into my work. As my tenure at my last job began to take its toll on me, I began to evaluate what that statement truly meant. And it turns out that it is not a good thing, in my opinion. The fact of the matter is, there is a big difference between being a good conscientous and hard worker with a solid work ethic and someone who can't tear themselves away after 8, 9, or even 10 hours because the work isn't done for that day. I have set standards for myself, at least at the last job, that were unrealistic and unattainable. I worked the extra hours and took the extra time that I felt was needed to accomplish a goal that could never be reached 100%. I spent 2 1/2 hours a day on the road then another 10 hours or more at work and what I got for it was lack of sleep, no energy to make a valid contribution at home, moodiness, poor health and poor eating habits. My biggest issue is not that my boss expected 10 hour days, (he did expect at least 9) but that I expected it of myself. My job did not take a toll on me, I did. And that is solely because of the type of person I had allowed myself to become. I breached the unwritten boundaries of what is simple dedication and hard work. I tried to take on a level of responsibility for success that was not mine to own.

There are people who go to work everyday, punch a time clock perhaps, work their 8 hours and go home, happily. They regard where they work and what they do as just a job. Then there are those of us who put a different level of importance on their job. Some work extra hours, some bring work home to do, some do both. What ends up happening as a result of that is the job becomes who you are. It can be consuming. You may find that you equate your job with your sense of self worth and importance. Fact of the matter is, your job does not define you. It is what you do but not who you are. Your employer doesn't care about that. Your friends don't base their level of friendship on what you do for a living and/or how much money you make. No, the person with the misguided viewpoint about what your job really means, is you. As I stated before there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do your job well. There is nothing wrong with an amount of dedication and having a strong work ethic. But the bottom line is, you don't owe them anything and they don't owe you anything. IT IS JUST A JOB.

There are those who feel a need to be productive and to contribute to something that will benefit both the company and the individual. The philosophy is where there is a successful company, there is a successful position. One would hope that would be the case but that does not always happen. It is not an ideal world anymore and success is relative.

Most people are creatures of habit and routine. So, the next thing that affects a persons' psyche when they lose a job is the immediate severing of ties and loss of routine. And that is not just the comeraderie that you may have developed with co-workers. Alot of people need to have structure in their lives. So the abrupt change could envelope many aspects of their world. You get up at the same time everyday. You stop at the same coffee shop. You pick up your newspaper at the same mini-mart and maybe get a snack. You drive the same roads, you pass the same cars going in the other direction. You go to the same spots for lunch several times a week. And at work, you have the same desk or workstation to go to. To some this may sound like a mundane thing that might be boring or get old but to others it is an important routine. It is a necessary part of their life. Or so it would seem. When a person gets laid off or even fired for that matter, the net result is the same. Their world gets turned upside down.

The next step in a persons evolution however, is to look within and see that this is what is happening to them. Many people never do. They allow themselves to get depressed, withdrawn, negative and cynical even, about what their future holds. And they don't understand why they feel the way they do.

For me, I have been down this road before. I was not shocked, in fact it was something I pretty much knew would happen. Because I did look within and realized what I was doing to myself. A shorter drive and fewer hours would make a big difference to me, but if I am to accept any position, my approach to just how much I give of myself to that job has to change. My home and my family are first and foremost. I need to work to maintain the lifestyle that we are all used to. But I will never again give up my "heart and soul" for any job.