Vacation is over, time to get to work

Seems to me I read somewhere, or maybe I made it up that the road to self discovery begins on the less traveled road within. So, I think since I will be home, again, I will spend some time on those roads. I also need to get back to looking for a job, working on the house, and taking on some long put aside projects. Looks like a pretty tall order but I'm up for it. Onward.

The psychology of being employed or unemployed

There are people out there who have no life to speak of. They live to work. They put in long hours and associate their work with their self worth. I was once somewhat guilty of that. For many years at several of my jobs I put in more hours than were expected and more effort than was expected only to find myself worn out and not rewarded for my efforts. Companies then at some point begin to expect that level of output from you and it just spirals out of control from there. Well, it does if you have another life besides work, and if you let it. How then do you balance putting in an honest days work where your conscience and their expectations can come to terms? It is a difficult juggling act. I have always said to people that none of my jobs have ever really been just jobs. That I have always dumped my heart and soul into my work. As my tenure at my last job began to take its toll on me, I began to evaluate what that statement truly meant. And it turns out that it is not a good thing, in my opinion. The fact of the matter is, there is a big difference between being a good conscientous and hard worker with a solid work ethic and someone who can't tear themselves away after 8, 9, or even 10 hours because the work isn't done for that day. I have set standards for myself, at least at the last job, that were unrealistic and unattainable. I worked the extra hours and took the extra time that I felt was needed to accomplish a goal that could never be reached 100%. I spent 2 1/2 hours a day on the road then another 10 hours or more at work and what I got for it was lack of sleep, no energy to make a valid contribution at home, moodiness, poor health and poor eating habits. My biggest issue is not that my boss expected 10 hour days, (he did expect at least 9) but that I expected it of myself. My job did not take a toll on me, I did. And that is solely because of the type of person I had allowed myself to become. I breached the unwritten boundaries of what is simple dedication and hard work. I tried to take on a level of responsibility for success that was not mine to own.

There are people who go to work everyday, punch a time clock perhaps, work their 8 hours and go home, happily. They regard where they work and what they do as just a job. Then there are those of us who put a different level of importance on their job. Some work extra hours, some bring work home to do, some do both. What ends up happening as a result of that is the job becomes who you are. It can be consuming. You may find that you equate your job with your sense of self worth and importance. Fact of the matter is, your job does not define you. It is what you do but not who you are. Your employer doesn't care about that. Your friends don't base their level of friendship on what you do for a living and/or how much money you make. No, the person with the misguided viewpoint about what your job really means, is you. As I stated before there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do your job well. There is nothing wrong with an amount of dedication and having a strong work ethic. But the bottom line is, you don't owe them anything and they don't owe you anything. IT IS JUST A JOB.

There are those who feel a need to be productive and to contribute to something that will benefit both the company and the individual. The philosophy is where there is a successful company, there is a successful position. One would hope that would be the case but that does not always happen. It is not an ideal world anymore and success is relative.

Most people are creatures of habit and routine. So, the next thing that affects a persons' psyche when they lose a job is the immediate severing of ties and loss of routine. And that is not just the comeraderie that you may have developed with co-workers. Alot of people need to have structure in their lives. So the abrupt change could envelope many aspects of their world. You get up at the same time everyday. You stop at the same coffee shop. You pick up your newspaper at the same mini-mart and maybe get a snack. You drive the same roads, you pass the same cars going in the other direction. You go to the same spots for lunch several times a week. And at work, you have the same desk or workstation to go to. To some this may sound like a mundane thing that might be boring or get old but to others it is an important routine. It is a necessary part of their life. Or so it would seem. When a person gets laid off or even fired for that matter, the net result is the same. Their world gets turned upside down.

The next step in a persons evolution however, is to look within and see that this is what is happening to them. Many people never do. They allow themselves to get depressed, withdrawn, negative and cynical even, about what their future holds. And they don't understand why they feel the way they do.

For me, I have been down this road before. I was not shocked, in fact it was something I pretty much knew would happen. Because I did look within and realized what I was doing to myself. A shorter drive and fewer hours would make a big difference to me, but if I am to accept any position, my approach to just how much I give of myself to that job has to change. My home and my family are first and foremost. I need to work to maintain the lifestyle that we are all used to. But I will never again give up my "heart and soul" for any job.

Contemplate, Ruminate, and Cogitate on the next step for me

Well I would love to be able to say that this is uncharted territory for me but this is simply a case of deja vu. Only this time it wasn't such a shock. I had anticipated and pretty much planned for the eventuality of the layoff. Now, it still has a psychological and emotional effect, there is no denying that. It's just that it is not nearly as jarring as the big surprise that hit me when I was let go from OutBack. But out of the fire of course rises the Phoenix. Again. I will look a bit harder this time and more diligently but I also think it is time to buckle down and get at least one of my books written. There is no excuse for putting it off this time. It certainly won't be for lack of time and opportunity if it doesn't get done. It will be due to laziness, pure and simple. And since LAZY will not be a factor in my vocabulary for at least the foreseeable future, I should be able to get alot of things done. This week is crazy for us because we are planning for our cruise which departs on Saturday. There are tons of things to get done for that. But after we get back and things begin to settle down for me, I can get much more focused on the projects that I need to do for me. Not for the house, not for the family, but for me. So, writing in my blog is another one of the routines that I am going to try to adopt. There you have it. Good luck to ME!

Validating your gut. (Intuition, premonition, etc)

Well, there's a funny thing that exists that alot of people don't listen to. That is their intuition or gut or whatever you want to call it. I posted on July 26th that "Something tells me I will have more time to write on my blog soon. More later.". I had a feeling that things were not going to continue with my job for a variety of reasons and sometime in mid july I heard my gut giving me signals. I took down my orange lizard that was hanging on the pipe next to my desk. I started culling out and taking home personal belongings and cleaning up and organizing all of the files on the computer that I used, in order to make it easier for my boss and my replacement?! to find what they needed quicker. It was finally decided on Tuesday last week that my last day would be Friday, this one just past, and lo and behold, I had very little to take home because it was already done. From a job standpoint, this has happened to me only once before where I felt something was coming but was just not sure. I was at Western Microtechnology in Redmond. I had a weird feeling in my stomach, kind of a nervous thing. I took home most of the things that belonged to me and cleaned up my desk and my files. That was on a Tuesday and on Friday, I had been laid off. There wasn't any iminent feeling in the office of a change in the business levels or anything else for that matter so it wasn't as if it could have been anticipated by anyone, except those that were making the decisions. It was an odd feeling but there you have it. I have also had that happen to me in other situations where it turned out in some cases to have been minor and others to have been significant.

There's a lot to be said for paying attention to your first thought, intuition or gut. What normally happens with most people, me included sometimes, is that you will second guess yourself. You really do know the answer to that question on jeopardy and it's the one that pops into your head first, but then you question it, begin to doubt it, and lose confidence in your knowledge. Never do that.

So, my gut has been validated. I do now have more time to spend writing on my blog and write I will. I have been sorely missing my use of the printed word to express my more cosmic thoughts. If you're looking for a daily diary of happenings, check facebook or my daughter's blog. If you are looking for something that delves into the deeper layers of my world, stick around. It could be a bumpy but fun ride.