The Chosen Word for August is FAMILY.

Family to me isn't just people that you're related to by blood or marriage. Family could be your best friend. It could be someone you grew up with. My family and my friends are important to me. You may frustrate me or even anger me at times but once I have opened the doors to my heart and brought you into my world, rest assured that if you move, we don't talk or see each other, or if you willingly walk out of the doors that I opened for you I. Will. Always. Love. You. No conditions, no exceptions. I may not always like you but by God, I will always love you. Most of my friends know, I would take a bullet for them. And most of my friends know that if I am armed I would shoot the asshole that tries to take you from this world. Family was my work friends of 45 years. Family is my fellow vendors. Family is people that I have gotten to know in my little community. If you're reading this, I hope you are part of my family. I will agree or disagree with you. I will argue with you, laugh with you, cry with you, share your highs and lows. Even if you don't do the same for me, I am the nurturer and supporter to my tribe of people. I will be there if you need me. I hate and really despise one sided friendships but when push comes to shove, I am the one who will come in the night with pajamas and slippers on when no one else will. So that is my rant about family. If you are new to my blog, welcome to my world. Feel free to peruse my previous posts.

The empty box

Everyone has at various times in their lives, an empty box in their posession. They keep it with them until such time as they decide to let go of something and put it in the box. Most people are afraid to put things in the box. They are afraid to let go. These are old memories, bad memories, fears, and disappointments. They are regrets, remorse, resentment. They are the inabilitiy or refusal to forgive or to forget. They are strong feelings of hatred and anger. They are the kind of thoughts and emotions that get in the way of moving forward with your life. So many people are hindered or even severely handicapped by their inability to put things in the box that their life is essentially on hold. We all run into some of those roadblocks in our daily lives but make quick decisions to move past them. These are the roadblocks that have been with people for very long periods of time.

Now, once these barriers are finally put in the box, they don't disappear altogether. You put the lid on the proverbial box and put it in the place that is reserved for the things in your life that you have accepted, come to terms with, and have otherwise simply learned to deal with and overcome.

During my time of not working for the past 15 months, I have had alot of time for self discovery and personal assessment. I have found that I have things to put in my box. Sometimes when you spend some time digging around in the attic you find things way over in the corner collecting dust that you don't need, you'll never use, and you really don't know why those things are still there but when someone tells you to get rid of it you can't and are adamant about it. And you can't supply a valid reason. What you learn, over time, is that if you root around in that attic long enough, you may yet find a reason, to let it go. Don't keep it stored in the attic, put it in the box and close the lid. And don't look back. You're not going that way.

Remiss is another word for lazy

So, when someone says, "I have been remiss" I think it really means they are lazy and just didn't take the time or didn't think it was important enough. Here is the definition I found on Google "If someone is remiss, they are careless about doing things that ought to be done. [formal] I would be remiss if I did not do something about it. Synonyms: careless, negligent, neglectful, culpable More Synonyms of remiss." So, esentially, lazy. Just a fancy word for something that doesn't need it. Well, the last time I was on this blog and wrote anything of any significance was over two years ago. I could use the excuse that there has been a lot going on, there has. I could say that I have been busy with work, busy with crafts, busy with being busy. But while that has in fact been the case, I have not been so busy that I don't have time to write. I have neglected my blog, my books, my daily journal, my calorie log book, my daily "I got this" and why I supposedly "got" this, my health, and my happiness. I seem to take care of everyone in and outside of my life pretty well. But I cannot seem to give a rip enough, to take care of myself. I have an issue with that and I am looking for a solution. I have decided that counseling may hold some answers. In the meantime, writing was/is/should be a therapeutic outlet for me. So much so that you would think that if it truly was so beneficial to my mental and emotional health, that I would make a point to keep it up. Ha. Therein lies the rub. I have been remiss in keeping up with something that should, in theory, be helpful to me. There's that word. Just another word for LAZY........

Well, Well, Well. Here we are on March 30th, 2020. It's been 2 years since my last post. We are deep in the midst of a global crisis. We as a race of humans, have been hit with a pandemic that has not been seen in my lifetime and not sure just when it will peak. It is still building up and taking many lives. It seems very surreal in a way when you're reading about it and hearing about it from various sources but the reality of it is that it is taking many, many lives. It is called Novel Coronavirus and it hails from Wuhan Province in China. It has been devastating world wide but has as the epicenter, my beautiful state of Washington. This thing totally sucks. It has taken a huge toll on the economy to the point where companies have had to shut down and millions are out of work. The hospitals are overrun, and it seems there is no end in sight. The government is doing everything it can to help small businesses and larger corporations and stepping in to help with the production of masks and life saving treatment. Very few individuals are surviving this virus. It is brutal. I will write in more detail later.

I just found out that one of my good friends that I've known since 1985, has the virus. He and his girlfriend. They live on Long Island, New York, in Nassau. They have fevers, chest congestion and while they have not been tested, docs tell them that they don't need to. They have it. Damn. Damn. Damn. *** Update, my friends are on the mend and are surviving Covid-19.

Fall is here

Here we are on September 24th, 2018. The air is crisp, the nights are chilly and the leaves are changing. As the days get shorter and daylight hours are waning, it creates opportunities to spend time doing indoor functions such as sewing, crafting, and more importantly, writing. Writing really needs to become a focus for me again. It is therapeutic, it is soothing, it is a huge release, and it will give me the chance to finally write something to possibly get published. It is my goal to get a book published. In the meantime, I have many short stories to print here and many more of what I consider to be "musings". Stay tuned.

The magic pen

A good friend of mine read my essay titled Menopause Schmenopause. She told me that I should write a book, memoir, or whatever. I have lots of ideas for them, I just need to get them in print. What I will commit to doing is making up a book of musings. That is mostly what my blog consists of but some of them are suitable for publishing. So, onward and upward. The magic pen, which is really my keyboard in disguise, is the tool to push my future into the literary world. Of all of my hobbies, crafts, etc. writing gives me the most pleasure. So, that is what I should pursue.

RR

Blast From the Past

When I first started this blog, I had been laid off from a job. I was bored and at the time the only two hobbies I had were genealogy and looking for work. Here is my first post.



New Blog created 12/22/08
Sometimes idle time and a computer can be a recipe for trouble but in this case it was the catalyst for creating this blog. I'm not really sure what content will appear, I'm going to just wing it.

Ruth.
Posted by Ruth at 12:05 PM

September 2013, Holy Cow!

Yikes, how did the year get away from me? What is it going to take to stay consistent with writing and keeping my blog up to date? Someone please kick me in the ass and pull my chair and games out from under me and hide them. I would kick myself but I can't seem to reach. I now have 5 books in process, genealogy that is in flux, a weight loss program that has literally been frozen in time, and have developed a serious case of adult ADD. My attention span is getting shorter by the day.

Any suggestions and/or volunteers for the butt kicking will be more than welcome.

Updates later.

Oh my my it's 2013

Well I can sure tell that I had an awful lot of distractions this past year. Didn't keep up with any of my blogs and now it's damned near February of 2013 already. How did I let so much time get away from me? That's a rhetorical question by the way because there is no definitive answer to that.

So, in October of last year I went back to work. Yay. I work part time hours which is great for me. It's what I wanted to do. I have a terric co-worker, her name is Julianne. We get along great and though we may have some fundamental differences in some areas those differences tend to compliment each other.And that's a good thing.

I have been neglecting my book writing and now that I have a strong outline for no less than 3 books, I may have to get back to it. I have been reading alot lately and I have to say that I greatly APPRECIATE THAT JULIANNE HAS INTRODUCED ME TO DIANA GABALDON AND HER OUTLANDER SERIES. THANKS JULIANNE.

We're starting to plan out our spring and fall projects for the property as well as determining our trips for the year.

I'm somewhat successful with my diet but need to get more serious about my workouts as I have a very specific goal in mind. And that would be turning 53, and being very healthy. So, I'm on my way to a May goal.

We shall see just how effective my brain is in navigating through and countering all of the excuses that I can come up with.

I guess another goal that I had better set and push through is keeping my blogs going. What's the point in having them anyhow if I'm not going to use them.

Off we go into the wilds of 2013!

Life after 50

While I can honestly say I am enjoying my life now more than ever, my body sometimes reminds me that I am over 50. It takes longer for the old gal to heal after an injury. My first inkling of that was when I injured tendons and ligaments in my knee when I was 49. It took literally months to get back to normal. No problems since then with that knee but it was a long time before I could use it to it's full extent. Next was strains on my right wrist. I thought I had the makings of carpel tunnel. Turns out it wasn't but I did have to wear a brace for a while. (same thing happened about 10 years ago to my left wrist) Now, as of 8 days ago when I sprained my left ankle, I have been cursing the speed in which my body heals itself and wanting to get back to my projects on the property but more importantly to get back to my workouts. I spent all summer cruising with the top down on a 60 mile an hour road then suddenly found myself in a construction zone travelling 10 miles an hour. And who knows when the construction zone will end. It totally sucks. I've lost my momentum and I don't like it.

BTW, I should expound on why I say that I am enjoying my life now more than ever. I am not working and we don't have much money to spend and I can't fix up my office the way I want BUT I have taken a more serious interest in my physiological well being than I have ever before. I have been on a rigid workout schedule and have lost 25 pounds. I have been actually finishing most things that I start. I have been making a concerted effort to control and streamline the way I eat, how much I eat, and what I eat. I have been working on writing my books, maintaining 3 blogs, finding and reading new books, learning a language, and finding interesting new talents to add to my repertoire of stuff that I know how to do. Now, all of this stuff doesn't happen quickly or overnight. It has been a long process and is an ongoing evolution of myself. I have to say that I love the direction that this is going.

MY Use for Social Networking, ie; Facebook

I was very reluctant for quite awhile to even sign up for Facebook much less start posting anything on there. I wasn't sure how to go about creating my profile, how to get friends linked up, what to do about pictures, etc. I finally gave in and created my page in September of 2009. Didn't have much else to do at the time since I was laid off and had been since the end of May. So, after spending a year or two studying how others use it, I came to the conclusion that everyone has a different purpose for wanting to share or communicate with others and I respect that. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for others on my friends list.

For example, a lot of my liberal friends feel free to post political links, articles, opinions, etc. And they should feel free to do so. And when those posts are highly inflammatory, insulting, and brutally bashing to people who believe as I do, then I should just let it go or hit the "hide" option so I don't have to read it. I have made the mistake of making comments when they do post and have thought better anymore because I just get aggravated. However, when any of my conservative friends post articles they are usually though not always, fact based and not presented in a hateful, demeaning, and bashing manner but are taken that way. So, I have elected to not get involved in ANY posting that is based in politics or religion. That way my friends can stay my friends and any friction or trouble that is caused will be between them and somebody else. Taking the high road baby!

As for what I do post, well some people say it's a lot of things and they also say that they feel like they know me through what I post. They can say that but I really do only show what I'm willing to share and what I feel comfortable sharing. There are a great many things that people DON'T know about me and frankly I would like to keep it that way. I post pictures of all the projects in and around my property, I post travel pictures, pictures of my pets, and pictures of my family. I talk about what I like, what I don't like, what I know how to do and what I don't know how to do. I comment on things that friends and family post, and for the most part just have fun with it. There are a great many things that I do take seriously but Facebook and myself are not on the list.

So whatever makes people happy, whatever use they choose to use social networking for is just that. It is their choice and I respect everyone's choice. I only ask in return that people respect mine.

Bienvenido to May

It has been awhile since I've written here. Not that I don't have the time, I'm still not working, and not that I don't spend alot of time on the computer. However, since the weather has been pretty great over the last month or so I have been outside doing some major landscaping projects so putting some thought into my blog has not been one of my priorities. I have many things in the works now. I have the beginnings of 3 books going, with many ideas floating around for more. I have also started another blog on Wordpress for strictly my opinions on television and movies. I'll probably do one for politics and another for just books. Who knows. I am diversifying my voice. This one I think I'll keep for just my day to day thoughts about all things cosmic. If you don't know what I mean by that, then perhaps you don't know me as well as you thought you did eh? Yes, my 52nd birthday has come and gone without much fanfare and I am perfectly happy with that. I am having much success with my weightloss/diet/excercise program and my mental state has become much more positive and uplifted. I think the excercise and infusion of energy has helped to boost the mental endorphins to a more positive level. We'll be painting my office next week and will be hanging the artwork on the walls that we bought last year on our cruise to Alaska. They are from an artist affectionately known as Fanch. His name is Francois Ledon but his Breton' nickname is Fanch. His art is very colorful and it's something that we never in a million years thought that we would like but there you have it, we bought French art from a French artist. Sacrebleu!

So, these are not what we bought but they are similar in color and style. There are three in the set that we bought and they will go up on the wall after we paint. Then we'll put up a few shelves and call it good for now until I get back to work. We will not purchase a day bed or any other furnishings for the office until I get a job and have a steady income. Unemployment is there but it doesn't amount to much. So, we do what we can. Anyhow, that should be enough for now. I will post again soon.

Gratitude

So the last word of the three is Gratitude. I think that people do not show enough gratitude for what they have in this world. And it isn't for just material things. I am very grateful for the material things that I have, but more importantly, I am grateful for my family and my friends without whom I would be a pretty lonely person. Each person that I have had in my life whether it be a lifelong family member, a friend for 30, 20, 10 years or even 10 months, has had some kind of an impact on me. Sometimes very obvious and sometimes very subtle. It's these relationships and the experiences with same, that help to shape a person. It's what you learn from your relationships with people and the understanding that you gain of each one that helps to shape the perspective that you take on life. In addition to formal education and what you learn in your professional life, the education that you glean from relationships is much more profound and long lasting. There are people in the world who make a choice to isolate themselves from friends and family, often to the point of becoming reclusive. That is their choice but something I could never imagine doing. I can't begin to picture what my world would have been like without the truly important and special people that have been in my life. Sometimes I lose that perspective and have to remind myself of just how important it is to know that there are people in this world who will listen, those who will support you and be your cheerleaders and coaches, those who will offer criticism, those who will love and trust you unconditionally, those who will walk beside you on your journey, those who advise you and those who will come to you when YOU are the one that THEY need to be that person for them. I am always happy to reciprocate when people ask because my philosophy is "in order to HAVE friends you must first BE one". I didn't always have that philosphy. I spent alot of years having aquaintences but keeping prospective friends at arms length. I was unwilling to make the investment and put myself out there. I am glad that part of me changed.

I am grateful for all of the opportunities that I have been granted in my life whether it be a divine gift or a reward for hard work, I will never take anything earned or given for granted.

And lastly, the fact that I am allowed the opportunity to get up every morning, that my heart is still beating, I can see, hear, smell, feel, and move is a gift that I am eternally grateful for. For in that gift, I have the opportunity each day to reach out and share MY friendship with the people that I value the most. I have the opportunity everyday to make a difference in someone's life or open the door for someone to make a difference in mine. All of that defines why I chose the word Gratitude to pervade my life during this year. And yes my friend Tom, that includes being grateful for the constructive criticism of my perceived rants.

The Meaning of the Word "Grace".

As I mentioned in the header for the month and beginning of the year, I would try to explain my choices for the words Gratitude, Grace, and Grit. We covered Grit, now it's time for Grace. To me Grace is being able to walk away from a situation, like not getting a job that you thought you were going to get, without any resentment or ill will towards the person who got the job or the potential employer. Grace is knowing that even though your friend or family member or maybe even a stranger has used words that are hateful, spiteful, and otherwise mean; there is likely an underlying reason for it that is not immediately obvious. You may not know it or see it but maybe that person just lost a loved one, or maybe a job, or maybe they witnessed or were in an accident. Keep in mind that getting that treatment from someone isn't right but understanding that there may be a very valid reason or cause for it would certainly ease the situation. Instead of reacting back to that person in a negative way, try to be understanding and not take it personal. Unless of course you know that the person is and always has been a total jerk then I would say all bets are off. The dictionary defines Grace in several ways but this is the one that most closely matches the useage that I have chosen. "disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency"

As I travel through each month of this new year, I have decided that there are many traits that I would like to adopt or pull out of my seemingly dormant self and practice in my everday life. Grace is a very important attribute to have in dealing with people throughout your life but even more importantly in the current economic sitation. I need to be more patient and more understanding. Sometimes just taking a deep breath and checking to make sure your reaction is not an emotional "knee jerk" is a good start.

The Meaning of the Word "Grit".

This is one of the words that I chose for the month of January. The dictionary shows the word to be the following: firmness of character; indomitable spirit; pluck. To be in my situation right now, right here; with my weight issues, self esteem issues, and jobless issues, the key to succeeding through it all and coming out on top is to have firmness of character which is to see who and what you are and can be and stick to it. It is to have an indomitable spirit which means that no matter how temporarily defeated you may feel, it is the strength of spirit that wins out over any adversity. And pluck is to have courage and resolution in the face of difficulties. That is what Grit means. And I KNOW that I possess those personality traits, hell, this is not the first time in my life that I have had to face challenges. Where is that street smart Ruth? Where is that Ruth with the awesome survival instinct? Where is the Ruth who says what the hell does CAN'T mean? Damn, I have given this alot of thought and the Ruth who is typing this blog is just a small portion of who that person was. How did I let myself get beat down so far? How did I allow the negative influences to crawl under my skin? Holy Cow. Well I think those personality traits have been hidden below the many layers of self defeating attitude. They are coming out slowly, it seems, kicking and screaming but nevertheless, are reaching the surface and Heaven help us when they do.

January 3, 2012

I'm beginning to think that I should have put the word "willpower" as the choice for the month. There are 3 loaves of banana bread in the oven and the house smells heavenly HOWEVER, banana bread is NOT on my list of acceptable foods for today or probably for at least the next couple of weeks. I must remain steadfast in my plan and let the boys have it. My eyes are on the prize and that prize is at least a size 10 pair of jeans. I remember how those felt and how they looked. After that, a size 8 is just around the corner. So, we don't need no steenking banana bread!!!

January 1, 2012

Spent the morning in a somewhat sleepy haze then finally motivated myself at about 11:00. I have a bit of a scratchy throat and a cough associated with it and a somewhat queasy stomach. No excuses though, that is the 2012 motto. When I am done updating some important digital housekeeping, I will do my 1 hour workout, then go for a walk or a bike ride. Getting some post Christmas housework done, laundry caught up, and wrapping up a few other things today. Kind of a boring yet necessary first day of the year.

December 30 2011

Well, I had a job interview that I thought would have been a great job and I also mistakenly thought was going to be offered to me. It was pretty arrogant of me I think in retrospect. The young lady that has the job was a temp that was brought in for the month of December. The arrangement we had was that I would not be available to begin until after the 1st of the year and he was going to have the temp there for the month until after the 1st. We had both decided that if she did not work out as a permanent candidate for the job, then he would bring me on. If she did work out and had an aptitude for the job then he would keep her on. She did work out and I am happy for her. She is going through a difficult time in her life right now and needs the job and the money. For me, as much as I thought it was the right fit and the right time, it was not meant for me. It was meant for April who does not have a great backup like I have. I wish her all the best and I hope her life and her soul finds peace. Sometimes just a boost to your ego, your self-esteem, and your pocket book is all it takes to make a huge difference in a persons' life. God is blessing her and at the same time showing me that there is something better and different for me out there. I wish April all of God's gifts.

Whoa, what just flew by?

It was December. It came so quickly, I was hardly ready then it sped right past with a flourish. New Years is coming in just a few days. I'm hoping to start a new job next week and start a new program (lifestyle change) that will get me into shape, get me healthy, and subsequently happy. Things have been a bit uneasy for me lately so I have had to do quite a bit of soul searching and reorganizing the internal priorities. I have my inspiration and my cheerleaders in place. All I need to do is get started. The gun goes off on January 1st. I will have 5 1/2 months to accomplish the first and largest part of the goal. Then it will be continuous steps afterward. There is no room or opportunity for failure. With my cholesterol higher this year than it was this time last year, and my weight pushing my previous maximum, I am very concerned about my future. This time it's much more than having a new wardrobe dangled in front of me or other things, now it is realizing that if I don't do something now, RIGHT NOW, I may not be around for my kids and grandkids.

So, onward. I have to put together my program and share it with Jim and Sean so that they know exactly what my starting point is and where I expect to be in 5 months. In the meantime, I can't allow my new job or anything else to cause stress in my life because that would surely throw a cog in my wheel.

On another more positive note, I have written more of my book but have to step back from it a bit to revamp the outline. I did not like where it was headed so I need to make some changes. I'm hoping to have it done and at the publisher by the end of the summer. I realize that is a long time but at the moment my story is a somewhat moving target and I have to get it all nailed down. There will be more excerpts posted in a couple of weeks.

On the Ebay front, I have been able to sell a few things and will continue going through a friend's account until I see some continuity and momentum gain at which time I will set myself up with my own biz and keep it going. Thanks to my friends at TASC, I was able to obtain some great boxes of varying sizes and shapes as well as a fair amount of bubble packing. They can't use any of the clear stuff that they get in their incoming packaging because everything that they ship in turn has to use the pink anti-static. So they will be saving boxes and packing material for me. How cool is that?

Another post will be forthcoming by Friday. Stay tuned!

30 years

Today marks 30 years that my daughter has been alive. We have both had many good, bad, interesting, but nevertheless pivotal experiences during that 30 years. Sure makes me feel old. Happy Birthday to my baby girl. Thank you so much for coming into my life. I am so incredibly blessed to have you.

I love you!